Walmart.
Like it or not, there's probably one near you. Maybe even a Super Walmart. Sugarland dubbed it Wallyworld in a song, the midwesterners call it by The Walmarts for some unfathomable reason, but here in this household...we refer to it as...The Place Where Very Weird Men Hit on Mom. Okay, I replace 'Very' with a particular word that starts with an 'F' when my children aren't around but I'm trying to keep my blog PG-13.
Now when I go out and about my daily business I do occasionally get....approached, we'll call it....by an interested man. I'm talking like once a year. These guys are polite and completely embarrassed once I flash my wedding ring that they somehow missed. So, for the most part, I give out my very happily married and not in the market in any way, shape, or form vibe, in a big, BIG way. Apparently, however, when I cross the threshhold of a Walmart, I am stripped of my usual vibe and it is replaced with...I don't know what...but it encourages whatever weirdo male is in the store to come on up and take his chances.
And, being a redhead, I am familiar with the Guy Who Has A Fetish for Red Hair. That guy hits on every redhead he comes across everywhere and anywhere, and usually wants to touch our hair, even while we're calling security over. So I'm not a novice in needing to tell a stranger to back the hell off. But this whole Walmart thing is...I don't know...more ewwww somehow.
It's a little disconcerting.
The last 3 times I have gone this is what has happened...
I have a had a seriously lounge lizardy ancient guy, with a massive dyed combover, give me the what for.
I have been followed around, aisle to aisle, as I tried to decide which body wash to purchase...and then offered help in applying it, while I was reaching for the laundry detergent. That one called my husband 'one lucky bastard'.
But I think the dude who sniffed me might be the hall of famer.
This happened just about a week ago. I was at the 'nice' Walmart in the 'nice' city with the hubs (as he has deemed it unsafe for me to enter Wallyworld by myself based on my previous experiences). We had been there, got what we came for - a new cooler - and were headed to the check out lanes. As it happened we were walking single file because of the crushing crowd in attendance that Sunday afternoon and unbeknownst to me, my fabulous husband had stopped to look at something (but, ever protective, was still keeping an eye one me). So for the first time in our shopping expedition it appeared that I was alone. Within seconds a man, fitting the description of Not All Cards In His Deck, walked by me real, real, close, leaned in, and sniffed me as he went by. Now I was not 100% positive this had actually occurred until I was rejoined by my hubby. He had been catching up to me, and had witnessed the whole scene close up. Apparently just as Weird Guy walked past me he exhaled deeply and audibly sighed while a contented smile took over his face. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP.
This does not happen to me anywhere else. It doesn't matter what Walmart I go to, how I'm dressed or what time of day it is. So what I want to know is...does this happen to anyone else? Am I just special? Do I just need to never enter another Walmart again and only shop Target for the sundries in my life?
xoxo
~S
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